Monday, November 30, 2009

Dear Cindi Lou,

Don't forget the beauty that was created today. You allowed the Heavens to open for you as you began the day with scripture study. This day was destined to be great the moment you stepped out of bed and greeted the day instantly with some sweet dance moves and then to your knees for Heavenly communication. You then busted some moves again, this time to an entire gift-of-a-tune by you girl Ingrid, before heading off to work. The entire drive in the car, up to the moment you shut off the ignition, you were belting out more of Ingrids beauty. You then walked into the place where you have received the opportunity to share a small time on earth, 30 hours a week, with 10 little angels. You held the angels hands, and one of them even snuck a tiny perfect kiss on your hand when you were not looking. The same angel who pressed her tiny lips up to the bus window for you as you said goodbye for the day. Another angel pressing his hand up against the bus window just to have you share the love energy through the window, connecting your hands together, leaving footprints of love, instantly on your heart. You turn, then noticing the glorious day that pulled you away from the gym, to run outside. You drove down to one of your favorite paths by the lake and parked the car. You got out and began to use the God-given ability to run...and run...and run. At the mile and a half point you had planned to turn around at, you decide to press forward and test your potential. So you ran, just because you could. At the point you thought you couldn't run anymore you realized you were only half way because you had to run back. Your potential kicked in and you put up your built-in-fight. The sun began to set in the most glorious way, and sang its brilliant song. Small moments were able to be captured with your camera such as:

Near the end of your fight you stopped to breathe it all in at one of your favorite places in the entire world; at the shore of the lake down from the path where you hear all the cars pass by but no one can see you from the street. Billions of people in this world and somehow you discovered a place that is open to all, but at that very moment, you were the ONLY one who had choose to be there. So after you have silently soaked in the beauty, naturally, you turn your pod as high as it can go, set it on the table, and began to dance with life. Freely. In this completely open, yet secluded place, allowing yourself to feel so small compared to the rest of the world but entirely powerful at this moment in time as you dance with only unseen angels.

As you finish up your run you throw your arms in the air with a realization of life's beauty and power, then get in your car and head home. Discovering the miracle of fighting for your potential; Instead of the 3 miles you were planning on going today, you found you were given power to battle a gift of 10 miles today. More than you have ever done before. You come home to an angel sister who comments on your stench, but for some reason you are proud of it, because you battled for that stench today, but you result in a shower anyway. You get out to a well cooked meal and head out for FHE where you agree on a friendship you have been afraid of because of the greatness. You decide to put away pride and selfishness and agree to the friendship of an earthly angel. As you arrive to your miraculous home you realize the magic and miracle of the beauty of the day. You understand the importance of creating your own happiness and you are humbled as you recall weeping as you watched the sun go down yesterday, because you feared the tomorrow. Today was nothing to be feared for, rather hoped, anticipated, and developed faith for. Your Father in Heaven led you today to create, together, a gift to the universe. So, Cindi, have faith in ALL tomorrows, for you have the Power every Today.
LOVE, Cindi

Friday, October 2, 2009

"It may be strange to start a story with an ending. But all endings are also beginnigs. We just don't know it at the time...."

This is an excerpt from my journal that I wrote on September 26,2009:

"....I also went to the movie "up" with my mom. I want to be the little girl, Ellie, from the movie. Her hair reminded me of my own when i was little, and her spirit of adventure was how mine is; always ready and willing to explore no matter what the circumstance life has placed you in. i also grew a fear of finding my husband. I have never had this. i have always wanted him to come into my life, but tonight it hit me, one day one of us will leave the other. One has to finish this life without the other. I spend everyday dreaming of Mr. Right and it will be so painful to be separated even for a short time. But, what a beautiful gospel. i have eternity with my "Adventure Partner"....eternity.":)
"I have discovered that I fear endings. I cry at the end of every good book. Not necessarily because it is sad, but because it ended. I hate the music at the end of movies, even if I love the song, but because it's over. I always am left feeling empty. For a short time the movie or book took me out of my own little world and allowed me to experience a story from life, from a different perspective in someone Else's shoes. I think for that person, ache for the person, love, cry, laugh, experience ultimate fairytale joy, for that person, and within a few moments.... I turn the last page and close the book. I listen to the ending music, watching the credits roll, just to push stop and put the movie back in its case. And I am empty. I am now required to live my life. Not in anyone's shoes but my own. It takes all my power to take the first step into my own story again. I am constantly thinking, during every conversation I have, how its going to end. I fear being left empty.

"Good thing eternity goes on forever, but until then I will continue
to begin stories, knowing that at some point they have to end,

But Mine doesn't..."

Friday, August 21, 2009

I was talking to miss ayley about silent heroes in our lives that rarely receive recognition and that makes them even more powerful. (Ayley is one of them) But I have decided that I am going to dedicate my blog to all the silent heroes that surround me. I am going to start with a lady a met yesterday.

I knew she was unique within the first 30 seconds of talking to her. I saw her pull up into her driveway and I decided to approach her in hopes of selling a security system. What I got was much greater. Her name is Maria. She is in her mid 40's. She has two kids, and she has cancer. She is a strength to the universe. She has incredible physical and mental strength. She has this incredible excitement about everything she talks about that fills your soul as you sit an listen to her. She is instant sunshine. She kept me insanely laughing the entire time. She could probably pummel my butt to the ground with her muscles of iron, but she would never do such a thing. She lifts everyone around her. I ended up talking to her for about a half hour and it was a gift. She has a whole plan to lift and encourage those people who are in similar situations as her. She is going to help them shed a positive and personal light on their own situation. She is a freakin babe and rocks at life. She said, "It's amazing what life gives you, Its about what you do with it." She was the greatest bubbly spit-fire person i have met. She went on to tell me that she is optimistic and that is what helps her day by day, hour to hour. I told her that she is incredible and going to change so many lives. She got so excited and shook her fists ion the air and got the biggest , most beautiful, smile on and said, "Oh, I hope so! I am SO excited!" Her heart is so full and she loves the fact that she has been blessed with cancer because it has allowed her to find a way to help others. When she told me that she loved to dance, i had to do everything possible to fight back tears. I have this crazy-cool thing that I feel i have been given a dancers soul and at that very second my soul connected to hers and it was as if I was looking into a mirror, and the person I was looking at, was the potential of who I strive to become. Maria changes the world everyday she wakes. I have been so blessed to see her soul today. She will be remembered by many. She is an angel.

Monday, August 17, 2009

This is a Story about a flower… (If you wanna listen to the song “In the Summertime” by Mungo Jerry, as you read this story, I would not even be mad.)

Once there were some birds, and some bees. They were playing with some sunflowers one day, when a seed dropped from their grasps and planted itself right into the ground. Given a short amount of time the seed took on independence and was able to sprout. Now, this small sprout saw many storms. There were many times when the wind began to blow and the rains beat down upon this little sprout. The sprout would droop its leaves and almost completely topple over, but refused to give up. This little sprout decided at an early age that it was going to learn to dance in the rain. The storms would come and the little sprout would droop but was always pulled up by some brilliant light that encouraged it to keep on keeping on. Well this little sprout developed a bud and it became very heavy, but it pushed through. Somehow, it pushed through. The little bud began to develop into a beautiful sunflower. The inexplicable part about the whole thing was the flower had no idea of the beauty it held. It held power, faith, and… miraculous happiness. Even through the storms. Why was it, that the flower was not able to realize this? What would it take for the flower to see?…. Slowly but surely the flower began to discover the beauty. This whole time, it had not been able to see the big picture. When the flower turned to the gardener, she understood. The Gardener understood the beauty the whole time, but the flower would not have understood it well enough if she had not struggled through the mud and figured it out on her own. That in itself made her see the beauty the gardener blessed her with.

Today is a new book. You know how they say that there are new chapters that you start and finish as things come and go in your life? I would be blind completely if I didn’t say that today was not only a new chapter in my book. It is a BRAND NEW BOOK. I am currently chillin, takin a tub, drinking some tea, eating some grapes and blogging. I have a chocolate face mask on that turns my skin to the color I wish it was (but I can’t complain) and truly smells like chocolate. I am trying to decide how to explain today and this is what I have come up with…

It is impossible.

No words could explain today well enough. Today is a Gift. The universe was well aware of me today. I ate at the most incredible place in DC called Chop’t (an insanely brilliant salad shop) and everything about the store was…. Fresh. It connected to my soul. Like picking up an unread book and adding your own wear and tear to it as you explore its pages. Today is beautiful. My soul sees it. I am not even close to stating that today is strictly easy. It is not. That is the beauty of it. There are very humbling emotions creating inside my soul today. They are fresh and the preface of my new book. This is Joy. This is life. I am so blessed. Angels danced with me today probably. My soul feels open and free to create, explore, love, live…dance and FLY. I have a dance inside of me that my soul is ready to express. This new book is a story about that brilliant dance.

“That in itself made her see the beauty the gardener blessed her with.”

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over- the-fence, world-series kind of stuff

I have been debating what to write on the subject matter of love. Everyone has an opinion about it and it is truly impossible to actually express what love is in words, but to some extent I HAVE to express what has been on my mind or I may be blinded later on. I talked to these two beautiful individuals above about true love today because a wise friend once told me to go to the people who are in the place you desire to be for any advice. Well these two express love in the most pure light that naturally, I had to get their opinion on the matter. They allowed my mind to open up my pure thoughts on what it is that they share more beautifully than I have ever seen. They are a perfect example of pure love and I couldn't wish for anything more. What a divine example they are to the universe. I will forever be in awe that I was able to call Tina my angel sister and Clint my brother in law (infact, my favorite brother in law).

Love is a beyond beautiful wonder that has the power to transform the entire universe when emitted. When you enforce power into loving a person, you realize the honest and pure light that the person has. Because you have allowed them to shine that light, you personally give their soul permission to share its potential. Its real beauty. Its life.
You personally allow them to secure a bond that cannot be forgotten and erupts pain in a heart when broken or torn apart. Its the thing that drives every human heart to reach its potential and endure to the end. There are many people worthy of our love, it's just our choice, who we are willing to decide to love. When we have TRULY made the choice to exert our full love to one person, the world changes. You have told them "I love you"; I will do all in my power to care for your life, love, and soul above any other. Not only will you do anything for them, you would do everything for them. You would die for them... and LIVE for them. If its true pure love that they have chosen to sacrifice to you, that puts you above any other. They will continue searching through the chaos without any hesitation anywhere else, until they find YOU, and they will exert every ounce of power, past the point of exhaustion until they find YOU.

This is the power in deciding to love. The beauty of devoting your existence forever. There is no inbetween when you have truly decided to love. That's it. That's the miracle. And once the decision has been made, you are the only one that can decide to break that eternal bond, because the decision of true love is forever. Even if it is broken there is a scar that will forever be unhealed. Love is too powerful, too pure, and too exquisite to fail on deciding to decide to TRULY love.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

So... Here I am. Blogging it up. Its a good feeling. I can write whatever the heck I want on this guy and it is basically for my own satisfaction. Ya know when you have not had a diet coke for a really long time and that first sensation of the most perfect drink, bubbles across your deprived tongue, and suddenly you get a slight glimpse of heaven? And the greatest part is that there is no one in the entire world, at that very moment in time that feels the perfectness that you are experiencing at that exact point? Blogging is kind of like that. Minus the bubbles and the sensation,... and the glimpse of heaven. Uh, OK... maybe blogging is not like that at all other that for my very on satisfaction.
I can't wait to post my own thoughts out there. As soon as I press the "Publish Post" button, my thoughts are released. I am now not the only one who can read it... suddenly the world can.
I am at the sweetest point in life. I am at a point where I am so high but all I see in the future is an upward climb. It can only get better from here, which is hard to fathom, because life is so rich. So rich.
I hold a job in which I walk around this beautiful world all day, everyday, meeting incredible people. There is not a day that I come home without having met someone who affected my life in one way or another. I have been so blessed to be able to have angels come into my life everyday so far, even if I never see them again after that day, it does not matter. That day. That very day in my life, they were there. I allowed them to affect me and my world has become more vibrant because of it. I find myself wanting to dance. Everyday. Just to celebrate the beauty of life. I have been blessed to see my best friend everyday. I hardly ever stop laughing. The brilliant words of E.E.Cummings ring true continually: "the most wasted of all days is one without laughter." How incredibly miraculous it is, not a day has gone by that was a waste. I have been trusted with a life that is surrounded with greatness. I know THE COOLEST people in the entire universe. Seriously. Some have even consented to be called my friends. Think about it. The top coolest people in the UNIVERSE... I KNOW THEM. Life is truly beautiful.
So here I am, living one day at a time. Surrounded by angels. I have NO right to be down, when my life continues to look up. I am learning to fly. Slowly, but surely. This is the beginning. It is a very HUGE concern to me that I have never had a flying dream, BUT, someday, when I have learned to "fly" in REAL life, my remarkable world of dreams will allow me to create and absorb this beautiful hope.

Here I go... Beginning to fly...a tribute to all the angels I have met and continue to meet....Here's to you...